I'm tired. Very tired.
I cried out to God this morning for so many things that are heaped upon me to the point of near despair in some cases. Before leaving the prayer, I was still so heavy-hearted and didn't want to feel like that the whole day. The Bible verse, "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it," came to mind. As I said it out loud, I emphasized "will."
Whenever I said it before, I said it almost like an incantation, as if saying it enough would magically make me rejoice and be glad. This time, with the emphasis on "will," I realized it takes a choice, a decision, an act of the will to rejoice and be glad. This isn't something that comes from without that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This is an active choice from within my own will to recognize the wonderful works of the Lord to the praise and glorify Him, to be glad of Him despite all the troubles and external influences bothering me.
And, no, it isn't easy. Everything in me wants to curl up and sleep until I feel better, but I have a full day ahead of me, a full weekend ahead of that, and a full week beyond that, and a full summer flowing into an even more full autumn and winter. I have an exceptionally busy Lent next year, too. But, I can see the day for what it is, a day the Lord has made. And I am so glad He made it. I am so glad I can cast all my cares on Him, just chuck them down at the foot of the cross and run to Him with gladness.
I cried out to God this morning for so many things that are heaped upon me to the point of near despair in some cases. Before leaving the prayer, I was still so heavy-hearted and didn't want to feel like that the whole day. The Bible verse, "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it," came to mind. As I said it out loud, I emphasized "will."
Whenever I said it before, I said it almost like an incantation, as if saying it enough would magically make me rejoice and be glad. This time, with the emphasis on "will," I realized it takes a choice, a decision, an act of the will to rejoice and be glad. This isn't something that comes from without that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This is an active choice from within my own will to recognize the wonderful works of the Lord to the praise and glorify Him, to be glad of Him despite all the troubles and external influences bothering me.
And, no, it isn't easy. Everything in me wants to curl up and sleep until I feel better, but I have a full day ahead of me, a full weekend ahead of that, and a full week beyond that, and a full summer flowing into an even more full autumn and winter. I have an exceptionally busy Lent next year, too. But, I can see the day for what it is, a day the Lord has made. And I am so glad He made it. I am so glad I can cast all my cares on Him, just chuck them down at the foot of the cross and run to Him with gladness.
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