Cleaning House

It is very common for people who experience a conversion to suddenly and even maniacally remove items of their former selves from their homes and lives.  Some of it is needed and perhaps prompted by the Holy Spirit, but a lot of times it is an emotion-fueled act hoping to hold onto that "religious high."  It's similar to how the dopamine rush of a new romantic relationship has you fixated on the relationship, the person, and that good feeling.  I did some of this the first time I was serious about Catholicism.  

As that dopamine rush, that "honeymoon phase" started to wear off, I tried doing more to gain that feeling back.

This time is different.  I don't have that "religious high."  I'm not trying to outwardly manifest a Catholic experience.  Now, I have this desire for obedience, order, beauty, peace, joy, and righteousness in my life.

And while some of the "stuff" I'm cleaning out isn't necessarily "bad," it isn't cultivating that deep and continued focus on the Holy that I want.  

I think part of it is because there is a tremendous imbalance of worldliness in my home that I feel a desire to  counterbalance it with goodness in my life.  

For example, I was following a model on Instagram.  She's super cute and fun, beautiful, and just had a baby, which is always a good thing.  There is nothing wrong with following her on Instagram.  She doesn't post anything I would call sinful or inappropriate.  Her posts are candy.  It's fluff and fun, which is her intention.  It's not edifying.  It doesn't nourish me.  I unfollowed her not in judgement of her, but in what I need for myself right now in my Holy Walk.  

I'm also weeding out my former evangelical and ex-evangelical follows and groups.  They served me for a time, but I'm finding those camps more and more troublesome.  I'm Catholic, now.  I need to set up my tent in the Catholic camp.  Catholicism has all that I need in support, counseling, and education.  I don't need to continue sifting through the wheat and the chaff in these former camps.  

I want a life ordered to Jesus.  I want a liturgical life, a right-minded life.  (And I hope my outward life begins to reflect the desires of my inward life.  My actual house could do with a good cleaning and ordering.)